Red Rocks Realizations

I set a goal to blog once a week in May. That didn't happen. Then I said I would blog once a week in June. Failure. Pet-peeve:  "Failure" vs. the recently popular phrase "fail".  Shall I rant about that? A friend on Facebook posted an awesome link to a blog that went over the complete misuse of the words 'fail' and 'epic' in modern vernacular.  Wish I still had that link... look for it if you are so inclined.  Anyways, that's not really what's on my mind today. I haven't heard back from the job I applied for in Memphis, and I'm actually OK with that.  As I've entertained images of my life back in Memphis, it was familiar and comfortable, but not easy.  One big realization occurred when I went to see one of my favorite bands Dispatch at the iconic Red Rocks Amphitheatre.  Looking at the amazing rock formations that dwarfed even the largest of SUVs, it makes you realize how small you are. You are merely a quick visitor to the rocks that have seen thousands of years of people, animals, and seasons.  This place is truly special, and reminds me of part of what drew me to the West.  I can't believe I lived in Colorado for 5 years before I went to a show there. Shame on me! I was also touched by the band members stopping the show several times to talk about how that had come to Red Rocks while recording their first album in Denver, and saying "One day, we will play here" and the night I saw them "their dream came true." It was cool to hear that even a band that seems larger than life to me, is still just a group of guys chasing their own dreams.  It was very inspirational and an amazing concert.

So now I'm back to the drawing board with the whole job situation.  The Jazzy Poet lit a bit of fire under me the other day, and I spent the better part of today applying to an array of jobs I'm only remotely interested in, and solely for the pay increase.  I applied in Denver, Charlotte, and South Florida.  I'm still very conflicted on where to move.  I got a call back within the hour from one company, and get this- I applied to the Charlotte office, and they said "We see you are in the Denver area currently, and we are actually calling to talk to you about working there." Maybe this is a sign?? With the deadline of August to get a job here or move, my frenetic anxiety has nearly upped to full blown panic. I've just begun to really meditate and mull the pros and cons. On one hand, Colorado is such a unique place, one which I feel like I've only just begun to explore. I have a network of friends, sisters, and alumni to lean on.  I really feel at home here. This is my place.  On the other hand, I took a complete leap of faith to move here in the first place, leaving Rhodes and Memphis, everything I'd ever known. And it was actually kinda fun (my father is always quick to recall the intense culture shock and resulting tears and homesickness I encountered my first 4 months or so here).  Honestly, I'm a bit bored. But would moving to a completely new state satiate my thirst for adventure, or could a road trip down to Moab do the trick?  I suppose I can only pick one and leap.  As I'm thinking about this, the words of Jeffery Jensen Arnett echo in my head "we told them as kids they could grow up to do anything, and they believed it..."

I will admit, my quotes usually come from a song that strikes a chord with me while I'm writing, but today I was listening to the debut album from The Backstreet Boys.  Anyone who was in middle school in the late 90's understands.... so this post's quote come from Niecy Nash's twitter, which has been tumbling around my head the past 2 days:

"God's delay is not his denial"

Cheers!